What colour is an Orange?

Food is confusing.

I have a little girl with a tummy bug and I can't get to the supermarket, so I try to order my shopping online. Who knew that an orange is a citrus fruit? Why do they have to complicate things just to be fancy? A yoghurt is now in the 'dairy' category. How on earth is a yoghurt not in the meat category?? Is it or is it not from a bloody COW? It took me, in total. 2 hours and 36 minutes to complete a grocery shop online. More time than it would have taken me to drive there, shop and have my hair done on any other Friday.
If people didn't pretend to be posher than they are, then Tesco wouldn't have to list a basic orange in the 'citrus' section. You have to have a degree in biology to buy fruit these days, and they wonder why children are obese. It's because parents can't find fruit when they're shopping.
I think yoghurts are good for you, and if you can't find those either, your stuck with Monster Munch and Milky Way.
It really winds me up how life isn't just simple. I'm a simple enough human being. I like watching the telly with my slippers on and a nice cup of Yorkshire tea. Why do I want to be playing Where's Wally just to do my shopping. What happens if I break my leg? I end up in hospital. A&E with a clipboard and a pencil. Which bone specifically, within the actual leg? Isn't that YOUR job? As a hospital? You X Ray me, break the news and plaster me up for 6 weeks. Why can't the world's biggest supermarket have a website that can interpret ORANGES and find you a spherical fruit bearing even the slightest resemblance to the colour you typed in?
I had to text my partner, who thinks I am the mockery of the universe as it is, and ask what category an orange comes under, before I could buy one. He didn't reply for an hour, at which point I was majorly pissed off and I had bought orange cordial instead. I don't even know if its one of your five a day.
I want the world back to how it used to be in ugg um ooh times. I could relate to a caveman. Point, grunt and its yours. That's what I want. Not a GCSE in food shopping. I just want a balanced diet. Not an exam.