Gardener's World

I had an orchid in a beautiful plantpot once, from my best friend. And I killed it. Accidentally of course. It was very sad. I would quite like to have kept it and seen what would have happened if it bent over any further. But things didn't work out and I had to move on.

I had a basil plant once, in a beautiful plantpot which once held an orchid. And I killed it. Accidentally of course. I was mortified. I would have loved to have kept picking the leaves off it for my cooking but once I had picked them all, it apparently couldn't collect sun anymore and it passed away. I composted it in the compost bin.

Every plant I ever have I seem to kill. And hamster. And rabbit. Its terribly unfortunate and I'm unsure as to what their problem is, but I'm beginning to think it really could be me. When you look at the blueprint of the situation, I am the common denominator. And that makes me feel like the evil half of the fraction. I don't deliberately kill things. I couldn't even tell you how they died. They just do. I watered them and fed the necessary ones. They had sunlight and hay. They just pack up and pass on. And I don't know if I'm cursed. Which worries me. As I have three children and a dog which I would quite like to remain alive for as long as possible.

So it was our anniversary. Dane bought me a rose bush. Bad idea. It was meant to signify our relationship, living forever and blossoming eternally. Rather than a bouquet of roses that die after a week. A month later and my rosé bush is officially dead. I watered it. I watered it lots and lots and lots and I put it in the kitchen windowsill where it's sunny. It told me to on its ticket. And it died.

It's petals have been falling off slowly for a week or two. Like single tears dripping with neglect and abandonment. This morning I found myself stroking the pot. If it didn't help the hamster, it won't help the crisp that used to be my beautiful rosebush.

I vow that from this day, I shalt not purchase any more flowers, bushes, pets or trees. And I give my word that I shall respectfully turn away any gift of such matter. I'm not sure what to do about the kids and the dog but they seem ok so far. And Dane seems ok. Maybe a little overfed but I can fix that. And no matter how hard I try, I'll never be able to stop him spraying his feet with Febreze, eating all of the meat meant for his sandwiches, or wishing he was Iron Man. This is beyond anyone's control.