Think Waves

A day in my brain. thought it might be interesting to tap it all out and read back on just how philosophical I am.

Cheerios never fill me up.

Time bombs aren't real. It's just a normal bomb. Because they're all on time anyway. They tick down until the times up and then they become just a bomb.

Greenhouses aren't real. It's just a shed but glass. A shed is a shed. If its metal or wood, it's still a shed. A glass one shouldn't be any different.

When the Sex Pistols came up with their name, did they realise they were calling themselves penises?

There is water under Africa. How ironic. We should send them shovels instead of Evian.

I saw a sign at the chip shop letting everyone know that they now do pudding. No one is going to stay long enough for pudding. There's not a lot of point.

My daughter saw an advert and said she wanted the toy. I said 'its I would like the toy'. She said 'ok mum, we can share it'. Not getting through.

A man stopped me outside Barclays Bank to ask if I knew where Barclays was. When I said it was behind me, he stepped back and said 'just testing'. That comment makes you ten times the cock you were just after you missed the bank.

There is an advert in the paper. "Hi. Curvy, blue eyed babe. Late 30's. WLTM older sophisticated male who enjoys cooking and bubbly chat, for friendship and more."
There should have been an advert in the paper. "Fat woman, mid 40's. looking for a rich bloke on his last legs to feed my weight problem and put up with annoying snort laugh. For bonking and inheritance."
Why lie? We can all see through you, even if not past you.

Why do clouds always make you feel really uncomfortable just before they rain? Men don't do that before they fart. Dane doesn't anyway. And clouds don't laugh when you run.

Who let Jimmy Saville into the BBC building in the first place looking like Vicky Pollard's Dad? He'd have an asbo for dressing like that now. Or a Mercedes and a pitbull. Or both.

Why do moons grow on my fingernails but they don't grow all the way. What's keeping them at Half Moon-Rise?

Why do snorers wake up everyone in the street but themselves?