It's like a mushroom

I was trying to explain to Dane why my fleecy pyjamas feel odd to bite. He seemed to think this was weirder than it is. I know it sounds weird but everyone does it, or at least a lot of us. If we have tooth ache or want to feel comfy. People do things that seem weird, and probably are, but we have good reasons for doing them. Like covering your ear when you settle down for sleep. So it's quieter and warmer and it feels safe. Sleeping with a pillow between your knees so your legs don't stick together. Holding a cold drinks can for a while and then touching your face because it makes you gasp. Closing your eyes really tight so you think you can see all the stars in the universe whizzing past your eyes, even though you know your vision will be weird when you open them, just so you can feel like an astronaut for a second.
   You won't do all of those things, but chances are that you do at least one. And a few more of your own besides. That's just a few from my list to give examples.
   I don't get why things feel funny in our mouths. Like my top. Just because of the texture or feel, we cringe or wretch or shudder. I'm like that with peaches. The furry kind of ones. And kiwi fruits. Things like that shouldn't be near your tongue. They itch and stick to the roof of your mouth like strange Velcro. Like mushrooms or scampi. Why would anyone want to eat something that slides down before you get to taste it? It's disgusting.
   I don't think it's just food though... Clearly... I think it's just that my body knows when something shouldn't be there. If I hold a pen between my teeth, sometimes my throat closes and makes me have to spit it out. Odd natural instinct I suppose.
   But if everyone does strange stuff, why judge others on theirs? There's no such thing as normality in this world anymore. When you can get away with calling your child Apple or sky diving from space without being sectioned, you know you're pretty much free to try anything. In this way, I suppose the world of celebrity does have one over on us mere mortals.
   Dane talks to himself in an American voice-over voice when he thinks no one is listening. My friend Emily always chewed her hair even though it made her cough. My mum clicks her fingernails together to make the theme tune to Eastenders.
   Don't judge. Laugh if you must. But don't forget that people will be laughing at your oddball behaviour too. And you'll never stop them because you don't know you're doing it.
   Cottons best to bite for comfort. Or the stuff towels are made of.