Sleep Talking

Downloaded an app for my phone. 'sleep talk'. Ridiculous idea really as I have now completely weirded myself out. It recorded me talking. Which I guess was the idea. But I didn't think I talked in my sleep.

"Dane, Dane."
'yes'
"I love you. And I'm a dog. A nightmare dog."

This is abnormal behaviour in my book. And I am rather ashamed to be admitting having done it. But what really worries me, is that I might do it again. Dane seems to think it's remarkably funny, and that I really am a nightmare dog.

As a normal human being, I truly believe (like many others I assume) that sleep talking is something to do with witchcraft. I don't like it one bit. I have no control over what I say and when I say it. I also have a habit of falling asleep rather quickly in public places if I have someone to lean on.
I would prefer not to tell someone all my life secrets on a train to Euston, or even divulge bedroom information in front of my grandparents.

The bottom line is... I'm terrified. Petrified of my sleeping self. I mean what was said last night wasn't even true. Of course I'm not a dog. And I'm the polar opposite of nightmare. So now I'm scared of lying in my sleep.

Good god. I could cause all sorts of bother. Wrongly predicting lottery numbers, confirming alien existence, a 7 year affair with President Obama, a dislike for chocolate. I hope not.

I looked it up. It can happen because I'm stressed. I wasn't. But I am now. It can happen because I'm pregnant. I'm not, but may have sleep-said I am. It can be the start of a psychotic episode. Oh dear god. What does that even mean?!

I'd much rather sleep normally. Maybe wriggle the sheets off or remove my pyjamas while I sleep. But not this. This is worse than snoring.

I can't think about it anymore. There has to be some little being (maybe an imp) climbing into my ear and changing sleep me into something odd. There are no cures for that listed but I'm certain that's what I have. A very bad imp. I should tell my GP at once.

Probably best not to.