As a woman, I tend not to notice the odd little things we do as a gender. I am plentifully aware of men's odd little quirks, as I live with probably one of the quirkiest. And I can't help but pick up on the habits of children under 5 (owning 3, and having to predict their every move). But I have never sat and thought about how odd WE are. Truth is... Very.
Again, I lie in the bath pondering my existence and all that goes therewith. And I come to wonder about time management. We don't have a lot of it. So why do we waste so much? We don't think for long enough to even realise it. If we did, we would of course, have much more time for ruling the country and completing our own menial DIY tasks (on the first time of being asked).
Why? I ask myself. Why do I paint my toes in winter? When there is only Dane and I to see them. And hopefully, anytime I'm hot enough to be without socks, it won't be my feet he will be looking at.
Why do I sit longer in the bath the cleaner I am? If I bathe in the morning and bathe at night, I'm in there pruning up my fingerprints and playing the hot tap on and off for hours. But if I'm dirtier, I'm in... Washed... Out. Surely I need more washing time?
Why do I ALWAYS clean and tidy the kids bedroom first? Even if we are due visitors. Why?
Why do we want our men to find us hot, sexy, gorgeous, and then moan when they talk to our breasts? I admit, I am one of those women who needs her man to tell her/show her that he finds her physically attractive. But I do hate it when he stares at my boobs as I tell him where I want the shelves hanging.
The list goes on. We cut and file our fingernails before having long extensions glued on. We spend more on transparent cheese wire lingerie than we do on belly knickers even though they contain 90% less material. We wear heels in snow and ice, and have even decided that wedge heeled wellies are a brilliant idea for the fashionable chihuahua walkers amongst us. We buy very large handbags an very small mobile phones. We eat before going on a date so as not to look greedy. we complain of our complexions if we have red cheeks, so we cover them with concealer followed by a Rose tinted blusher.
I could go on all day.
Men give us such a hard time for being the less intelligent sex. We aren't doing a great deal to prove them wrong really are we? Dane thinks that ornaments are pointless because they fill space. I have to admit I thought that was quite a good thing. If you have seen Dane's dust and polish technique and the speed he is back on his arse with a newspaper, you'd probably be boxing your vases and au Clair monts for immediate Oxfam collection. What time we would have if we lived like men. But of course, nothing in life would be pretty.
I would like to vow to live more primally. Simply, like our simple minded mates, but a world without scatter cushions, throws and tie backs wouldn't be a world worth living in. And of course, we would be teaching our children to grow up as apes. Evolution has to be protected. Defended by us women. We are the stronger, more beautiful, happier, cleverer, insatiable sex after all. It's up to us.
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