Road Tax for Reindeers

Firstly, 


I think today I HAVE to start with a little rant...

A Thermos keeps hot things hot right? and cold things cold? yeah, sure! right, so why the HELL, can Dane not collect some Scotland snow for me in said thermos, and bring it home for me to see?? Pure selfishness, thats why! Trying to keep a whole COUNTRY full of snow to himself, and not even share one thermos full with the love of his life. Fine. At least I know where I stand. Suitable punishment yet to be concocted.
Terribly sorry about that. Rant over. Let us continue...


Naive as I may sometimes appear, I fear that I am merely misunderstood, and it is not a lack of intelligence being displayed, but an overload of intelligence, causing over analysis of everyday topics and situations, causing wrong calculations to be made. As sometimes, there is no reason for the crazy things in our world. Like cows horns. Why? Ahh, no reason. Turkeys? Chickens, but bigger, uglier, and less tasty. No point at all. screw fitting lightbulbs? Just showing off. Bayonet fittings are much easier to fit. Simpler to make, and look more like little aliens when you turn them upside down. Anyhow, I digress. Just pointing out the fact that judgement isn't good, look deeper. Try to see why. I am completely, absolutely an intelligent, normal person, with just this little bit of a slightly unusual way of looking at things. You may now read on...


I asked, quite innocently, do reindeers exist? Apparently so. However, I have to have a license if I want to keep one as a pet and I cannot simply stable one like your basic horse. Fine. This license does not give me permission to drive my reindeer. (waste of money). Reindeers also, it turns out, can NOT actually fly, unless they are attached to Santa's sleigh, therefore drawing magic from it. So who'd want a reindeer anyway?

Following on from the reindeer conversation, we entered into a rather comical conversation about chameleons and unicorns. One of which is real, the other MYTHICAL. Yes that is correct. Just ONE is mythical. Of course, before you scoff at me, I knew Unicorns were. But that would mean that chameleons were real. colour changing, eyelid-less, lizards. Hmm sounds less likely to be real than a horse with wings. At least that could have happened by accident in a lab. but, all hail Google. Chameleons are real. 100% bona fida REAL. So I still have a chance of catching a fairy, a pygymy and a mermaid then. Brill. My hopes kept alive, and another thing learnt.


As I go on learning and processing things through my unarguably complex brain, i notice a pattern. If something makes sense. Its probably bollocks. So from now on. We will try this philosophy. Only believe people who seem like they are talking complete and utter shite. You'll look less like a prick, and people will THINK you're intelligent, although you're actually not even thinking for yourself. I'm going before I talk myself out of it.