The Extinction of Daddy Long Legs

  Although Daddy Long Legs are a common sight in England. I cant help but wonder how. Physically, it has to be impossible surely. It all started when I met Dave, the Daddy long legs, during my bath tonight. I noticed he had 6 legs, which at first i deemed normal as he wasn't really a spider, he just looked a bit like one. however, on one side he seemed to have half a leg extra, so i guessed they probably are meant to have eight, as 7 would be bad for balance and walking straight etc.


  So as Dave and I bonded over a mug of hot chocolate and some Pink Jasmine Radox, I really started to wonder how long he has been alive. How many millions of gazillions of years, decades, centuries? He didnt really look old, but how do you tell a pensioner Daddy long legs from a Club Med Daddy long legs? He flew pretty well, and seemed spritely, maybe slightly epileptic but overall pretty healthy. So how did he lose his legs? How, after all this time, has he still got 6 if he's been clumsy enough to lose two.


  As you may be aware, (fully i should hope) Daddy long legs aren't great at holding a conversation. they have miniscule attention spans, and they dont sit still for long enough for you to examine them. plus, if they get bubbles on their wings, they crash. the last point being completely accidental, not part of my experiment, and although unintentionally ridiculously cruel, rather humorous.


  So Dave was unable/unwilling to tell me the answers to my questions. I tried and tried to come up with a logical explanation for this. I really did. But it seemed there were none. It took a good while to come to this conclusion, my fingers were pruned, my water was cold and Dave had pulled the lightbulb after one too many sips of bubbly. I decided to google it. After all, it was my belief that Daddy Long Legs are all male (hence the name) therefore they must live either forever, or a very VERY long time for there to be any of them left.


  I shall not go any further with this story. All I will say is that my relationship with Google is starting to suffer. I have lost all trust in him. Everyday his tales become more and more far-fetched and incomprehendable. But he swears they're words of truth, and the most annoying thing, is that everyone in the whole world believes him over me.